Death, Lamentations & Hope

Disclaimer: this post is a little heavier than my usual ones... 

Oh death, where is your sting?

Oh hell, where is your victory?

(1 Corinthians 15:55)

It was almost two years ago to the day. I have never had my emotions swing in such an insane way in such way ever in my life, and I doubt that I will ever feel that way again.

I was with my favorite group of ladies – ones that I had had the opportunity to live with and learn with, laugh with and cry with over the past few months – and we had just won a competition that we had been working hard and strategizing for for over a week. It was a big deal. Like mega big for us. We walked into our common living space, expecting the next few hours to be full of excitement and celebration, and instead were met with the news of the death of a family member. It was quite literally like being punched in the gut and having the joy sucked out of me all at once… a feeling that I hope I never have to feel again, but that I felt regardless of the fact that I didn’t even know the person who had passed away. I can’t even imagine how I would have felt had I actually known the person.

The reality of death sometimes is that the hope gets sucked out of the lives that are left behind. We get so focused on Earthly things that death is sometimes a crushing blow. As I sat in my room crying for someone I had never met, his new wife and his family, all I could think about was “what if that had been my brother?” … “What if that had been my cousin?” They were sobering thoughts. It’s a moment in my life that I think will stay with me for the rest of my time here on Earth.  

Lamentations has become one of my favorite books (not something that people say often, but if I’m being honest my favorite of all the books of the Bible is Job, which is definitely not a usual favorite), not because of the dreariness that it can bring but because of the hope. Throughout the whole book the author is opening up his heart and kind of laying it all out on the table – it’s a depressing book, sure, but the hope that he finds is a bright star in the midst of a pitch black night. In chapter 3 he writes: “For the Lord will not cast off forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone” (3:31-33, NIV).

I guess what I’m trying to get at – and the place that I got too months later, a few weeks after one of my friends tried unsuccessfully to take their life – is that though death seems hopeless, we have the greatest hope. And when death seems to punch us in the gut and kick us while we’re down, that doesn’t have to be the end; we don’t have to stay down. God has not left us on this Earth without Him. He has not left us here with no love, with no hope and with no way out. He will show compassion because His unfailing love is so great.

David writes in Psalm 56:8 a promise that is very powerful and beautiful: “You [, God ha]ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book” (MSG).

God has conquered death but it’s still a part of our life while we live here on Earth. It’s normal but often earth-shattering. Don’t ever lose hope. He has conquered it and He is a comforter. He will not leave you to deal with it on your own.

P.S. As a self-diagnosed feeler, it’s easy for me to take on other peoples’ emotions and to have them sit heavily on my heart. I’ve learned (and continue to have to learn) that I can’t hold on to them for too long or they will weigh me down. God can take those. He is literally The Comforter. Don’t take that for granted.

All that is Gold does not Glitter

- J.R. Tolkien 

All that the world offers is not enough,

not all who don't know what's next are truly lost;

A strong faith from long ago will not wither,

a faith rooted deep will not be shaken.

From a spark of hope faith can be renewed,

darkness will not win out over the light;

returned to perfect the world will be;

Jesus again shall be King.

{my take on this beautiful poem}

Don't lose hope. Don't stop fighting.

God is holding onto you even when you forget to hold onto Him.

Narrow Road

There are moments where words just fit together in a way that perfectly makes sense. Usually they come as a surprise, a random stroke of genius at a time when you least expect it. This was what happened to me last night. I had been tossing and turning in bed when a sentence floated through my mind. And then it floated through a few more times... So I pulled out my journal and wrote it down.

"Plan things on your own and you will fail, but follow God's path for you and you will succeed in ways that you would have never imagined." 

This reminds me of a Sanctus Real song that I've had on replay for the past few weeks. The lyrics of the second verse go:

"I'm starting to see why this is called the narrow road
Cause if I wanna walk this way, oh I've gotta stay close
I'd leave anything in the fire to bring us together
I want nothing between my soul and my Savior"

We are called to walk a narrow road. And we are told in Matthew 7:14 that few will find it. I don't know about you but for me that means that I want all the help that I can get! Psalm 37:23 tells us that "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." God wants to be a part of every single little detail in our lives. He doesn't want to leave us hanging. He wants us to prosper. The key is that we need to have our plans lined up with His. Sometimes that means that we will have to discard plans totally and other times they might need to change just a little bit. We also need to trust that He always has our best interests in mind.

So if you're feeling discouraged by what is going on in your life right now and you don't know why God hasn't placed you where you want to be, don't worry. Trust. He will provide answers, and though they might not be the ones that you want hear, they'll be the answers that you need to hear.

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. 
Trust him, and he will help you."
-Psalm 37:5

"God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want."
- C.S. Lewis

Wednesday's Words of Wisdom

From: The Word For The Day

See my post on this subject here.

Wandering thoughts...

Sitting in church yesterday I learned that God can speak through whoever and whatever He wants to use. The pastor was preaching on foreign missions and somehow God used it to teach me a life lesson... or, let me rephrase that, to re-teach me a life lesson (it seems I don't listen too well sometimes :)

"Stop it!"

That's what caught my attention during the sermon. The pastor said it and, while I had been listening, this sentence seemed to jump out and grab at my wandering thoughts. It was like God was saying "stop it! Stop obsessing about what you can't change. I have way better plans than you do and I can't wait to show them to you."

A few months ago I was listening to a guy speak about Abram and Sarai. I had always thought that Abram was not such a smart guy, I mean who needs to pretend that he's his wife's brother so that he feels secure?!? What in the world. But this speaker made Abram's story sound exactly like mine in a way. Too often I think that I can help God along in His plan for me. Just like Abram said "I know that you called me to have descendants that numbered the stars, so I'm going to help you out by not getting myself killed in this situation," I was basically saying to God: "I know You're good and mighty but I'm going to help You help me." As if. God isn't in the business of letting us have the glory for His works.

In Matthew 6 it says: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" (v. 33). Before this Matthew is talking about how people worry about what they will eat, what they will wear, what they will drink... maybe it's even who they will end up with, what job they will get, what university they'll get into... And God tells us to seek Him first and then these things will be added to you. Somehow we've gotten it the other way. Somehow we've turned God's plan into something that is secondary to what we want. We need to go to Him first and then He will point us in the direction He wants us to go.

Later in the book of Matthew, he writes: "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened" (Matt. 7: 7-8).

We need to stop trying to figure it out all by ourselves for God and start seeking Him first. He doesn't need our help, in fact most of the time our "help" just gets us into unnecessary messes. He just wants you and then He's big enough to figure out the rest.

Have a great week!

At the End of it All

At church yesterday the pastor brought up one of my favourite stories in the Bible. The best part about it, he taught me a different way of looking at it and I wanted to share it with you!

About that time Herod the king laid violent hands on some who belonged to the church. ² He killed James the brother of John with the sword, ³ and when he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also. This was during the days of Unleavened Bread. ⁴ And when he had seized him, he put him in prison, delivering him over to four squads of soldiers to guard him, intending after the Passover to bring him out to the people. ⁵ So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer for him was made to God by the church.
⁶ Now when Herod was about to bring him out, on that very night, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries before the door were guarding the prison. ⁷ And behold, an angel of the Lord stood next to him, and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him, saying, “Get up quickly.” And the chains fell off his hands. ⁸ And the angel said to him, “Dress yourself and put on your sandals.” And he did so. And he said to him, “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me.” ⁹ And he went out and followed him. He did not know that what was being done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision. ¹⁰ When they had passed the first and the second guard, they came to the iron gate leading into the city. It opened for them of its own accord, and they went out and went along one street, and immediately the angel left him. 
-- Acts 12 

Peter was put in jail for teaching people about God. During the day his friend James had been put to death for this same thing and Herod was planning on killing Peter the next day because he had seen how happy the people were with it. 
Instead of being killed right away Peter was put in jail with four squads of soldiers guarding him, that's 16 soldiers. That's a lot of guys for one man to take on. 
So what did Peter do? Well, he slept.
"What?!? He slept?!?" You might be asking. He sure did. Why? Because he was at the end of it all. He couldn't do anything more and so he went to sleep trusting that God knew what was best.
When we are at the end of ourselves, when we can't do anything more, that's when God does some of His best work. 
What happened next... well, the angel appeared and Peter's chains fell off. They walked out of the prison and the door opened by itself.  

When you feel like you physically have no strength to carry on and you mentally can't go forward, that's when trusting in God because infinitely important. God knows what's best for you and He has way better plans for us than we can ever make for ourselves. It may be a different answer to our prayers than we were expecting, but like I've been talking about these last few Mondays, we have to put our faith in Him and He will do the rest.

So, when you feel like you can't go on... take a moment to still your heart, trust in Him and keep taking one step at a time. God is faithful and He will never leave you nor forsake you. You're in good hands. 

(Bible verses: ESV)